The end of Abroad

So I kind of cheated in the end with this Tumblr - I’ve been home since the 17th of May but I haven’t really written about what it’s been like or how I feel being back. To be honest, I left in a rush (finishing a paper on the plane, deciding not to do the last response paper of my college career). I really feel like i didn’t get much of a chance to really say goodbye to Egypt or really more importantly to say goodbye to the people there who have become good friends. So this then is my checkup to all of that until I can do it better in person. 

For the last few days before I left Egypt, I spent most of my time writing papers and packing. It really wasn’t until the night that I was leaving that I really seemed to make much sense of it. Firstly, that night, people came by to say goodbye and my roommates and I took a last picture of us and what had been our home for five months and when people had left and it was just me and Jason, he slept for his final the next day and I stayed up to write the last paper since my flight was a morning one anyway. 

By the way, this man is a keeper. (It’s strange for me to say/write “man” when I’m so used to saying “boy” - maybe I have been dating younger guys for too long now? hahaha. But in a lot of ways this relationship is much more mature than some of my past and he is a man, and MY man to be exact.) I’m a pretty private person in most respects so I’m not going to say much, but I really really love how my relationship has been this last year and I hope and will try to make it continue this year. When he does get back to the States and gets a chance to visit (he’s traveling currently), be nice when I introduce him around, he’s special to me. =)

So at 6am he woke up with me and saw me off, got me a taxi and helped me take my bags down. My last taxi ride was very Egyptian and it made me laugh. It was all pretty normal by U.S. standards until we hit a block of traffic and then my driver decided to take us around some back streets, drove on the wrong side of the street a few turns, a few illegal turns and then bam! at the airport. All in all, rather a nice way to leave this country after so long, I think. Got to the airport, went through some classic Egyptian bureaucracy - paying for an extra bag required two stations and three lines - and then onto my first flight to Frankfurt. I was sorry that the khamsiin (sandstorm) was pretty high already and I wasn’t able to see much of the city as we left. At Frankfurt, I didn’t have time to go out into the city but it was interesting that already people were walking faster than me, something that I had forgotten until then (crowd flow! ah I missed it). Also a bureaucratic run-in at Frankfurt, interesting convo with a German guy-moved-to-SF and then flight home. My bags got checked coming into to SFO (internal sigh when the lady at customs marked my ticket with a M for medium risk) and then home home home. 

Next morning went to grad. Not much to say, I imagine I will reflect more on Berkeley and college as a whole at a later time. I am enormously proud though of my parents for seeing all three of us kids through college especially during these economic times. Yes it was my graduation but a good amount of who I am and what I do is due to them.  

And now what? I’m done with college, back from abroad, looking for a job. Being home has been easy. I’ve lived in this house for 10+ years and coming back has a timeless feel. I want to start my own life though. Spending these last few weeks catching up with people (and still more to talk to, I feel so blessed to know so many interesting and loving people who would take the time to see me), I need to make a new life for myself that will bring together all these threads of my past. That has never been so clear to me as now. These next few years are the foundation and I must work for them. 

Goals now

- Get a job, figure out my career

- Pay off student loans, move out and/or establish my own space and habits

- Materially differentiate my life (style-wise, home-wise, etc) 

- Maintain/further relationships (even hopefully the ones that have changed or faded this last year while I’ve been gone)

- Exercise, return to dance (even if not competitively)

- Return to art

- (Re) Learn languages

- Try to be a better person

This list is maybe too cliche but it is true (more detailed, but like I said, I will keep my own counsel on most of these for a while). Now to work at it. As for Egypt…

Egypt, I have heard you called the Mother of the World, and in many ways I agree whole-heartedly. You have taught me so much about the world, people, and myself , in lessons that were both subtle and dramatic and I am ever humbled. It was not always easy but in many ways the problems were not what I taught they would be.  As an anthropology student, you have changed me fundamentally. Thank you and I will see you in the future. This I do not doubt.

Until then,

Evelyn 

Year by Year by Year

I just realized that about a year ago sometime last week (?) I was sleeping in Alta Bates next to a hospital bed with Jae in it, scrunched up on two chairs pushed together and some hospital pillows and blankets that the nurses kindly brought me. I was wearing his over-sized gray sweater (my favorite one) and the nurses asked me if I was in high school and brought me breakfast each day I was there. Nic and I talked one night (several? we had so many conversations either in the car or the waiting area or the hospital room, I don’t remember which were which) and I remember the lights were beautiful and we were high enough to see out into the city. 

This year I’m in Cairo, with just under a month to the day that my flight leaves for the U.S. and me going to graduation. Last night, Jason and I were talking about diseases and medical emergencies and that experience came up again and I realized it was just about a year ago. It was strange to be with another boy (man) that I also love, in a city across the world but also with a lovely skyline view. 

Maybe each year around this time, I’ll stop and think about where I am and where I was. I’ll try if I remember. I’m grateful for the experiences I’ve had and the people who’ve shared them with me.